The past year has been a bit of a crazy one. I had a health scare, a reaction to some medication that made me loopy, brokenness, a ton of job-related stress, and I experienced the loss of two co-workers. To say I was a stress-bomb and a bit emotional is an understatement. Over the summer, I finally started to calm down and deal with it all.
I chose, while everything was happening, to try to understand what God was trying to teach me. It wasn’t easy. It would have been easier to wallow.
Even though I am still learning from everything, there are some things that prompted some growth in me: I’ve learned to be quieter in spirit and in action. When I get edgy or angsty, I tend to fret, and because of all of the fretting, I over-verbalize. In fact, I can feel it happening this week, as I am trying to finish up some grading, because the marking period ends next week. However…when I feel that way now, instead of the amount of over-verbalization that I expressed before, I am more apt to be quiet and seek God a bit. That is a huge victory for me…you have no idea.
When I experienced some personal brokenness due to some loss, I learned how to say to God that I know He has everything under control and that there are blessing on the other end of things…things that are better than I could have brought my way. Plainly, I’m learning that God does indeed have a plan, a hope and a future for me. While I wait on that aspect of God’s movement in my life, I know the loss will be replaced someday with much more than I could ever imagine or hope.
Work-related stress…my nemesis. Stress makes me edgy, cranky and full of adrenaline. I’m learning that when I am stressed that I can listen to calming music, read my Bible or pray, rather than eat foods that stress triggers…a very unhealthy habit. I’m also learning that God doesn’t want me to stress. He wants me to trust that He will provide a way to get everything done that I need to do. I’ve been learning to get more rest, and some changes in diet are allowing me to sleep through the time I have to sleep (working on the quantity issue) instead of waking up every 2-3 hours, because I’m alert with stress. My brain needs a break.
I’m learning…a work in progress…trying to become a better reflection of God…allowing Him to make me into a godly woman….and hopefully one that will be looked upon with favor by others, because of that reflection.
It is my hope that God continues to bless me and allow me to share all of my blessings with others, so that He will be glorified.
God is faithful, good and truly my Father.
God sees all my tears and blesses them with growth and love…
Psalm 142 1 I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. 2 I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble. 3 When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way. In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me. 4 Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. 5 I cry to you, LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” 6 Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. 7 Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.