A little Friday fun: HEADLINES

1. Bethlehem Considers Heavy Teacher Layoffs
Sure, pick on the fat teachers.

2. Cleveland bans outdoor smoking, trans fat in restaurants…
Uh…they do realize they are in Cleveland, right? Drew Carey just turned in his Cleveland badge, since Cleveland no longer rocks. I hear Mimi is threatening to go without make-up in protest.

3. California town gets ‘Surfing Madonna’
Next up is a boogie boarding St. Paul and the three wise men selling beach umbrellas.

4. Hospital patient emits poison gas
It didn’t make people talk like Mickey Mouse and didn’t cause lots of laughter.

5. Is Jesus OK with pricey weddings?
I think He is more concerned with the pricey cost of rejecting Him. Just a hunch, though.

6. 5 things you shouldn’t wear on a plane
a. a fully stocked bandolier
b. a t-shirt that says, “Zombie Osama is my homeboy”.
c. a sign that says “North Korea or Bust”.
d. a recently used samurai sword
e. a full tube of toothpaste

7. The Name of Olbermann’s New Current TV Show Will Be….
Rantings of a lunatic?
Guess my disorder?
I’m a egotistical narcissistic loon?

8. Rep. Allen West Challenges Conservative Mothers: ‘Spartan Women…Raise Spartan Men’
Yeah, but they have to clean their rooms, first…then they can throw people into bottomless pits.

9. Obama has outside contract worth $100K for teleprompter coach…
Hmmm…I don’t think when the movie is made of his presidency that there will be the Oscar rush that The King’s Speech had.

10. Ahmadinejad Allies Charged with ‘Sorcery’…
They got caught watching Harry Potter movies in costume. I hear Ahmadinejad dressed up like Hermione.

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