Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
I hate silence.
I leave the television on all night, I listen to music while I grade, and absolute utter silence drives me up a wall. I need sound. Oddly, I am a fairly quiet person. I can handle quiet, even when I am hanging out with folks. But complete silence? Ugh…
There is a silence that is unnerving and comforting at the same time, though. The silence of God. For me, it is unnerving, because when I know I have been praying, and I know I have faith and true belief, and hear nothing but crickets…I feel like God doesn’t want to know me–like I’ve failed and that He’s just like, “Go away, now.” Sometimes that silence just makes me sad, to be honest. However, in a comforting way, I know “the answer” isn’t, “No.” I know God is letting me see Him work things through and allowing me the opportunity to see Him display His power–a power that I cannot even begin to fathom.
His silence teaches me, especially lately, how to be still, how to let go of what hurts me and what causes me angst. He is in every detail of my life and cares about EVERYTHING…from the mundane to the urgent. I know He hears my prayers, because when He answers the ones I consider “little,” I feel it is His way of giving me encouragement regarding the things that are bathed in silence.
I’m not the most patient person when it comes to certain aspects of my life. I’m also not good at sitting and being still. I’m hyper. That’s all I can say. But, lately, God has been helping me with the ants in my pants, ready to do everything at once and just go-go-go behavior/attitude.
I’m learning to be still and to listen.
I have a lot on my mind these days. I also have some pretty huge–in my view–(in God’s view…easy peasy) prayer requests hanging in that silent cloud over my head…waiting and waiting and waiting some more. Yes, I struggle with it, but I know God’s timing and plan are perfect, and that He is able to do what I request and so much more–in ways that I couldn’t even begin to imagine.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have to give Him EVERYTHING everyday. I do. Sometimes through tears, sometimes through those little girl sobs while telling Him I know He is who He says He is…and has all of the power to do what is causing me so much angst. There are days I fly through with a smile. But if you know me, you know I do struggle; not with my faith, but with my own weaknesses.
(When you click on the video, you will have to click on the link to YouTube. The song is beautiful and is worth it.)