There once was a man from Nantucket

As many of you know, I was an English major in college (double major madness). Anyhoo, I really liked my classes. I had an entire semester of Faulkner…Southern Gothic at its best. Another one of my favorites (really loved them all, to be honest) was a class on short story writing. I wrote a really cool story about a couple of guys that I always saw hanging out at the local Starbucks. It involved their for-real mental issues and chain smoking…discussions that matched their mental issues, and a certain Ivy League university across the street from said Starbucks. It was dark and I think I might have scared a few folks, but those that knew me, thought it was hilarious, especially those who had witnessed those two guys in action.

But…as usual…I digress: The one thing I like, but kind of confounds me a bit is poetry. I can discuss and dissect it. I can figure out the rhyme scheme (could care less about meter), and can take into account the social aspects and schools of literature by which I might analyze the poetry. See…there has to be some substance to it. A lot of thought goes into saying a lot in so few stanzas (unless an epic or some such longer poem, of course). I’ve tried writing poetry. It is a good mental exercise. I have written a few of varying types. I wrote some really good novelty ones for Halloween one year, but I can’t find them. However, it is something, that for most, takes a lot of work and revision.

That all said, when Ms. O herself decided to very kindly honor National Poetry Month in April by having Maria Shriver spearhead the issue and invite guest poets, well…you can just imagine the weirdness.

Yeah…Demi Moore, Mike Tyson, and goodness knows who else. My guess? Pee Wee Herman and Lady Gag Gag.

So in my efforts to look into this further, I was able to procure the poem written by Mike Tyson.

Okay, so like, there once was this guy named Evander.
I wanted to beat him up so much it worked up my dander.
The fight it got heated, and I was feeling defeated,
so I lost my cool, bit off his ear, and retreated.

I hear Demi Moore is still trying to write hers. Her focus? An ode to Botox.

Okay…so here is a poem recited by Mike Tyson while he was in jail. It is interesting. ┬áNo clue if he wrote it. (Not sure what the others will offer. I hope they don’t ask Jewel for one of her poems.)