Get the Hell off my lawn!

Get this: Old coots enjoy reading about the misery of teenagers and other punk kids. Shocka!

Older people like reading negative news stories about their younger counterparts because it boosts their own self-esteem, according to a new study. German researchers said older people tend to be portrayed negatively in society. Although they are often described as wise, they are also be shown as being slow and forgetful.

All the adults in the study were shown what they were led to believe was a test version of a new online news magazine. They were also given a limited time to look over either a negative and positive version of 10 pre-selected articles. The researchers found that older people were more likely to choose to read negative articles about those younger than themselves. They also tended to show less interest in articles about older people, whether negative or positive.

That’s because none of these whipper-snappers wore an onion on their belt, which was the style at the time.

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