Can you rhyme better than a fifth grader?

Have you ever met someone with complete and utter narcissism?

I think if you looked it up in the dictionary, Al Gore would be the featured picture next to it.

So, he’s written another book (yawn).  Oh, did I mention that he included a poem? 

Since I am one who analyzes literature for a living,  allow me to interpret it for you, with some psychoanalysis thrown in, just for fun. (These stanzas are excerpts, btw.)

One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun
(On Labor Day, as I was floating on my blow-up raft drinking a martini, I
fell asleep and drifted off past midnight.  They found me on the
Cumberland River.  Their screams of, “Hey!  What’s that huge new island in
the middle of the river?!?” woke me up, and they soon got me help.)

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
(Later that night, to get over the traumatic experience, I had some burritos.
Unfortunately, I got some beans and well, the vapors and acid kind of speak
for themselves.)

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly
(And then a cool breeze from the tundra came in and soothed my ills as I bit
into another peppermint patty.)

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning’s celebration

(Ohhhhh….weenie roast!  I guess the rain all dries up and itsy bitsy spider gets stuck in the water spout.  It is all the lightning’s fault!  Placing kindling in a forest makes no sense, either.  Isn’t that a waste of kindling, given the forest is one, big pile of it?  Well, according to Al it is.)

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools
(And then the nice men in the pretty white coats will come to take him back into the home, so that he no longer cries. Oh, and he is the biggest tool of them all!)


You can read the article about this HERE.  The author of that article also does a little interpretation.

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4 thoughts on “Can you rhyme better than a fifth grader?

  1. Uhm, I like his poetry better than his speeches which never end … but then I once worked for a Japanese University so for me Haiku makes more sense than Algore.

    Trouble is nobody explained to Algore that Haiku is only THREE LINES!

  2. Pingback: Brendan Witt: One Tough S.O.B. | Support Your Local Gunfighter

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