Do not recycle!

sb10061867t-001Guy eating lunch:  YUMMY!!!  I loves the ketchup!  Oh, well, gee.  The bottle appears to be empty.  Hmmmm…where is the recycling bin?  Oh well, I’ll just take it home to recycle.  After all, that’s what Al Gore would do, right?

[Later, in the parking lot of his employer…a university]

Paul Blart-ish guy:  Hey you!  You with the bottle!

Guy:  Wha?  Me?

Blart-guy:  Yes, you!  Get over here with that bottle.

Guy:  What seems to be the problem off….oh, wait, you really aren’t an officer.

Blart-guy:  Sir, you seem to be taking a piece of university property off campus.  That is in violation of petty theft laws.

Guy:  But, but, it is empty and I just wanted to recycle the bottle.

Blart-guy:  Sorry, sir.  I’m going to have to cuff you and stuff you and take your butt to see Judge Judy.  She’s pretty mean, you know.

***** (H/T:  UPI) *****

So, uh.  Folks, the moral of the story is to never steal ketchup bottles.  You could wind up getting arrested, paying a fine of $150, and being banned for two years from the university campuses.


3 thoughts on “Do not recycle!

  1. “…he believes he was set up by his political enemies and plans to appeal the decision.”

    A conspiracy! Nice. Was Blart-guy alone, or was there a second Blart-guy in the grassy knoll?

  2. Funny story only somewhat related.

    My family owned a restaurant back in the day. Water and condiments were generally free. This one man who was known for being a tightwad came in and ordered a bowl of boiling water. I raised an eyebrow until I saw what he was doing- pouring an entire bottle of ketchup into the bowl to make himself “tomato soup”. I raised my pen and charged him for a bottle of ketchup, which cost a dollar more than if he’d just ordered a bowl of actual tomato soup.

    Moral of the story- not only is stealing the bottle a no-no, but so is stealing the contents. 😀

  3. JohnD
    The arrest is just as crazy sounding as the guy who stole the ketchup bottle.

    Oh, the bubbled life of our colleges and universities.

    HA! That’s awesome. 🙂

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