Guy eating lunch: YUMMY!!! I loves the ketchup! Oh, well, gee. The bottle appears to be empty. Hmmmm…where is the recycling bin? Oh well, I’ll just take it home to recycle. After all, that’s what Al Gore would do, right?
[Later, in the parking lot of his employer…a university]
Paul Blart-ish guy: Hey you! You with the bottle!
Guy: Wha? Me?
Blart-guy: Yes, you! Get over here with that bottle.
Guy: What seems to be the problem off….oh, wait, you really aren’t an officer.
Blart-guy: Sir, you seem to be taking a piece of university property off campus. That is in violation of petty theft laws.
Guy: But, but, it is empty and I just wanted to recycle the bottle.
Blart-guy: Sorry, sir. I’m going to have to cuff you and stuff you and take your butt to see Judge Judy. She’s pretty mean, you know.
***** (H/T: UPI) *****
So, uh. Folks, the moral of the story is to never steal ketchup bottles. You could wind up getting arrested, paying a fine of $150, and being banned for two years from the university campuses.