Public Service Announcement (maybe)

A fashion don't for the gym.

A fashion don't for the gym.

Gentlemen,

When you go to the gym there are things I expect to see and hear and things that I’d rather not have even imagine.

For example, I know when guys work out there is some kind of odd bonding thing going on and you spot each other.  You talk trash, talk about who or what you did the night before, and you talk sports and stuff.  You grunt when you lift weights and you like to go to the water fountain a lot.   I notice, but I don’t “notice”.  I’m not there checking you out or anything.  Frankly, I like looking at my trainer, because we kid around and that is about it.  I do my thing, sweat like a mutha, and hope for good results.

The one thing I don’t want to see or even have the mental image of is what happens when you work out in really short running shorts.  Why?  Well, I just don’t want to see that much of you.

Tonight I was glad I was walking out of the gym as you were walking in, Mr. I-shave-my-legs-and wear-the-teeniest-running-shorts-I-can-find-guy.  I don’t need to imagine what the seats and benches will be like, because the goodie bag inside your shorts isn’t completely covered by the shorts.  I don’t want to know what might happen if you stretch or bend over.  The woman you were with must have been kind of thinking the same.  You see, running shorts are for running…outdoors.  They are not for the gym and for working out.

All I can say is….ewwwwwwwww grossssssssssssss!

I experienced that awkward moment once.  A friend of mine was fixing my car stereo and he was sprawled out on the floor of my car, legs hanging out of my door.  However, he had a habit of wearing short shorts (as that is what guys wore back in ’80s).  He also had a habit of going commando.  So, dude at the gym, tonight…thank you for reminding me of the time that my friend unwittingly unveiled his goodies in front of me.  I’m only glad you were walking in the door and I didn’t have to witness you work out.

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7 thoughts on “Public Service Announcement (maybe)

  1. Thanks RT. That brought to mind the time when I was 17 and some older dude who liked to hang out with us grocery store teens…ooh, I said hang out. Heh, he was.

    I remember that about him and the fact that one of his top front teeth was missing.

    I knew another guy who had the same habit, but I never witnessed it. He was cured of commando and short-shorts wearing though. He spent all day riding his Harley and well, he had an unintentional wienie roast. He swapped over to Bermuda shorts and wore drawers from then on according to all reports.

  2. This goes to my aversion to spandex. Now understand, there are a few people who can wear it well. I find bike shorts made of the material OK and I like nothing more than to see a toned woman running, wearing spandex and a tight shirt. BUT, just because you have lost 10 lbs and still need to loss about 75 more, DOES NOT give you the right to visually pollute my field of vision by using the tread mill in front of me, while wearing XXXXXL stretchy pants and a too shorts shirt. YUCK!

    So much for breakfast.

  3. Kim
    More like the trick at Halloween, rather than the treat. Heh.

    Snigs
    Ewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m glad I didn’t witness any of that.

    (And just everyone knows….when my commando friend went all “waaaaaahhhh,” I quickly turned away. 1. So he didn’t think I saw something. 2. So I wouldn’t embarrass him.)

    Admiral
    Some guys? ALL GUYS! (Sorry….)

    Les
    I wear baggy clothes to the gym on purpose.

    Glad to help with your unintentional diet. 🙂

  4. The gym is quite a place to study people. I’m there to work on myself and pick up guys, but there is some major hooking up going on (or attempts to) in that place. Creepy. There are even high school kids in there on the hunt. Whatever happened to being a mall rat?

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