a-acom1.  WASTE: $273M Satellite to Study Global-Warming Gases Lost…crashes near Antarctica

HA!  Okay, it is a huge loss of money, but the fact that a global warming satellite crashed near Antarctica cracks me up almost as much as the cold weather that seems to appear wherever Gore goes.

2. Police: Dad stabs son over hat in church

Dannnnnnng!  1.  Who is disrespectful enough to wear a hat in church?  2.  I thought my mom was rough when she wouldn’t let me wear pants to church.

3.  Mice overrun courthouse, fall from ceiling

They just wanted to party with the rats in the courtroom.

4.  Diners threaten to grill taverna in bill dispute

Poor basic math skills will get you into a crapload of trouble.

5.  10 minutes to a hot new you

Minutes 1-9:  Run in place, really fast.
Minute 10:  You’re now hot!

6.  ‘Spider-Man’ to be musical, & guess who’s doing the score

I don’t know.  Spider-Man with jazz hands and a “lisp”?  Will Spidey be sashaying from building to building rather than swinging by a web?

7.  Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack

Three words one should not read in a sentence:  bathroom + smelling + crack.  It just ain’t right, y’all.


9 thoughts on “Headlines!!!!!!

  1. I saw that last one on my local paper’s website and came to the same conclusion. Makes me wonder if the reporter phrased it that way intentionally to see if he could get it past his editors.

  2. #2: Well, what do you expect? Only women are to keep their heads covered in church. I do have one question though. Can the blood shed be counted as a virgin sacrifice even though the kid didn’t die?

  3. JohnD
    If he/she did…then it worked. Sometimes the editors are the ones who create the headlines, so…

    Glad it gave you a giggle.

    Funny, isn’t it?

    He was 19, and we can’t assume he’s a virgin. I’m just wondering what the dad was like that he did that over a hat in church.

    Heh…we should ask him, shouldn’t we?

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