1. WASTE: $273M Satellite to Study Global-Warming Gases Lost…crashes near Antarctica
HA! Okay, it is a huge loss of money, but the fact that a global warming satellite crashed near Antarctica cracks me up almost as much as the cold weather that seems to appear wherever Gore goes.
2. Police: Dad stabs son over hat in church
Dannnnnnng! 1. Who is disrespectful enough to wear a hat in church? 2. I thought my mom was rough when she wouldn’t let me wear pants to church.
3. Mice overrun courthouse, fall from ceiling
They just wanted to party with the rats in the courtroom.
4. Diners threaten to grill taverna in bill dispute
Poor basic math skills will get you into a crapload of trouble.
5. 10 minutes to a hot new you
Minutes 1-9: Run in place, really fast.
Minute 10: You’re now hot!
6. ‘Spider-Man’ to be musical, & guess who’s doing the score
I don’t know. Spider-Man with jazz hands and a “lisp”? Will Spidey be sashaying from building to building rather than swinging by a web?
7. Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack
Three words one should not read in a sentence: bathroom + smelling + crack. It just ain’t right, y’all.