In an article “written” by Fidel Castro he states that he will lose his ability to be up on current events within the next four years.
In light of the new age of embracing our enemies to make us look good (and to put our country further into the dumper), I will use my abilities to assume what future events will be to help Fidel know what he’ll be missing, so he doesn’t feel out of the loop.
1. Joe Biden will still be an a-hole.
2. Obama will still be striking poses that make him look like “The Rock”.
3. Nancy Pelosi will show Obama who the real president is.
4. Harry Reid’s reputation as someone who thinks lowly of the common folk will take a hit when it is disclosed that he’s had a long-standing affair with a Las Vegas stripper named Roxanne.
5. MSNBC host, Chris Matthews, will finally declare his desire to be a circus clown and will give up journalism, since all of the planets are now aligned and his partisan job is done.
6. Hillary Clinton will cause relations with our allies to chill when pictures of her and the likes of Chavez and Ahmadinejad engaged in a lip-lock surface.
7. After Obama re-opens trade and travel with Cuba, Castro will find himself re-enacting Weekend at Bernie’s for beach-going tourists. Unfortunately, as predicted by Castro in 2009, he will not remember his actions. Come to think of it, maybe he won’t be acting.
8. In the only move all Americans applaud, Obama sends Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. out on a world tour lasting until they are all into adulthood, to get them out of the country.
9. In an interview on “The View,” Jill Biden will disclose that Joe Biden has suffered from E.D. for the past 20 years. Embarrassed, Joe Biden “shh’s” her.
10. Forced by real scientists to give up his multi-million dollar Global Warming business, Al Gore is forced to portray the Snow Miser in the Broadway adaptation of “The Year Without Santa Claus.”
I hope this puts Fidel’s mind at ease.