Weighin’ In

I would be lying if I said I had a good week. When food I shouldn’t eat is near me, I eat it. I was kind of angry about it, this time, though. I wanted to make healthier decisions, but I felt like I wasn’t “allowed.”

Let me explain: I live with my mom, and even though I am an adult, I still have that “she’s the mom” mentality. So, when she came home last weekend from her holiday food shopping binge, my heart sunk. She brought home hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, macaroni salad, potato chips, some kind of really sweet dessert thing, and lots of bread to go with the burgers and dogs.
So I ate the stuff from Sunday through Tuesday. When I weighed myself Wednesday, the damage was that I had gained a pound. I lucked-out. Trust me. I actually ate small portions, but it was still a lot of high-starch and bad-carb stuff that my body can’t tolerate. Why did I eat it all? Guilt. My mom’s feelings would have been hurt, not to mention the guilt of knowing money was spent on it all–couldn’t waste food, right?

Since Wednesday, I tried very hard to eat as well as I could and made sure that when we returned to school this week, I tried to walk around a fair bit. I lost that pound and I stayed at the weight I had for last week. For that, I am grateful.

It feels like a completely wasted week, but I feel good about losing the pound and about my inward reaction to everything. I’m getting my will back, and now I just have to not worry about hurting other people’s feelings. This is about me. (I’m not real good with “about me,” especially when it comes to my parents.)

Below are some words of encouragement for my fellow weight-loss buddies:

David Viscott
You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.

Eleanor Roosevelt
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

George S. Patton
You’re never beaten until you admit it.

Lee Iacocca
You’ve got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It’s called perseverance.

Here are some diet “tips” that I found (supposed to be funny). The site provides this caveat and quotation before the list:

Don’t take our humorous diet tips too seriously, they’re just for fun!
Success is when you can look beyond food…and look down and see your feet.


1. To make your hips and thighs look slim on the beach, dig two tunnels under your thighs and make a small dent in the sand for your bottom. Place your towel over the top and sit in the dug out area. Hey presto, no bulging thighs and hips.

2. Always stand 3/4 on for photographs ….. really slimming.

3. Stand next to a person fatter than you whenever possible and never ever befriend a real skinny!!!

4. Always eat in private, if people never see you eat, they’ll believe you when you say you have a thyroid problem. (Hey! I really do have a thyroid problem!)

5. If you have a problem with eating too much in the evenings, go to bed at 7:30 p.m. every night and ask your partner to hand cuff you to the bed, you never know, you may solve two problems in one, by spicing up your sex life at the same time 😉 (Well, dang!)

6. If you do know someone who’s naturally skinny, have them come and live with you for two weeks and eat exactly what they eat at exactly the same times. You are guaranteed to lose weight! (Yeah, because all people are alike and what works for one person works for another. /snark)

7. Con your friends into thinking how good you’re looking lately ….. study and memorize your most flattering pose in a mirror and ensure when anyone sees you, you strike the pose….. note, this only works if you then don’t move again until they’ve left the room.

8. Cross your legs at your ankles. Your thighs and calves will look slimmer.

9. Get a tan. A tan helps you look thinner.

10. Whenever a friend calls round, tell them you’re on your way to the gym, word will get round about how fit and healthy you are…. and you may feel it necessary to prove it once in a while.

11. 100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise! Now can it get any easier than that? (I like that one the best!)

(H/T: Be Young)


Picture of the Day

A wabbit eating his breakfast:

Today I said two things I never thought I’d say:
“Stop touching his butt.”
“Don’t sit on his head.”

Then later, I learned that it is good to be the teacher. It is especially good when you catch a kid cheating and that kid takes the zero like a champ.

Oh, and I have a possessed car stereo. It will be replaced before my trip. If that had happened while I was driving down to TN, I would have had a cow.

I have a question: Are power windows supposed to be able to go up and down with the car turned off? The keys were still in the ignition, but the car was completely off.

Something tells me that I need to name my car, “Christine.” (Don’t worry folks, I have a great warranty. I wouldn’t take the car without it.)

HEADLINES!

1. Girls Gang Blows Up Houses With Homemade Bomb Over Boy
I bet he feels special. (morons)

2. San Francisco may offer street yoga
Given the street yoga people are more bendy, I bet they steal business from the street walkers. I smell a turf war.

3. Romance lives at Riker’s Island.
Just yesterday, Bubba and Bruce had a lovely ceremony.

4. Driver gets in wreck, sees his home catch fire, gets ticket
That just sucks. No funny there.

5. Mystery deepens as 4th severed foot found
I wonder what happened to the remainder of the bodies. Creepy. Stay away from Vancouver, B.C., folks.

6. In final stretch, Clinton says ‘I still believe I can win’
Meanwhile, her shrink is making a mint off of her!

7. Studies link lead to adult crime, brain damage
Ummm….and?

8. La Scala to stage Gore’s ‘INCONVENIENT TRUTH’…
See # 7.

9. TODAY: Sex doesn’t matter, until it’s gone
Again, I say, “DUH!” (Yeah, uh, trust me on that one.)

10. The last headline isn’t posted because of humorous purposes. I’m posting it because it is one of the sweetest stories I’ve read in a long time. Click on the headline to read the story.

Del. Students Raise Money For Teacher’s Trip Home


Caption Contest

Here’s a fun picture this week. Provide your best captions and I will post the winners Monday evening. Have a great weekend! (If you feel this is worthy of your Photoshop talents, have at it.)

THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Cowboy Blob: It’s not ghey to hug another man, as long as you pound him on the back with your fist. The insecure ones tend to overdo it.

2. Rodney Dill: Dubya: “Uh… you got superglue remover right?”

And the winner is. . .

1. Wyatt: President Bush had no problem with bumping and grinding, but after receiving the dreaded “Rear Admiral,” he never recovered.

Other Caption Contests:

Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman passed away today. When I was little, the Carol Burnett Show was a must-watch event. The best part was always waiting to see if Harvey Korman would lose his composure during his sketches, especially the ones with Tim Conway. In honor and in memory of Mr. Korman, I give you one of their most talked about sketches:

Playing the numbers

Since I’m going away for the summer, I wasn’t able to get an appointment with my endocrinologist until I return, so the whole blood work thing has to wait. However, I decided to check my sugar yesterday using my mom’s monitor. I even took my blood pressure and pulse with her other stuff, too.

For about three years, my blood sugar has been running around 100 +/- a few points here and there (o.k…more like 115 a couple of times). Yesterday, it was 87.

When I tested my blood pressure it was 129/73 (a little high for me, but still normal AND a lot lower than it was when I got ill four years ago).

Then came my pulse. I hate taking my pulse. It is always in the low to upper 80’s. Yesterday, it was 68.

Now, if the weight just keeps coming off, I’ll be a very happy woman. Throughout this weight-loss thing, I’ve been concentrating on appearances. I know the “numbers” are lurking, but I always seem to forget the health part of the mix. This reminds me of how important the weight loss is, even if I don’t end up a hottie.

I’m a winner!

Paul at Shadow of Diogenes has a trivia contest that he runs. Every now and then I feel like entering, but I know I just can’t compete. However, this week, I took an educated guess at the answer and I WON! Woo hooooooo!!!

Go visit Shadow of Diogenes. You will find very deep and profound things (haiku and such) mixed with humor. Also, see if you can match wits the next time he posts a trivia contest.