FANTASY-LAND

Nancy Pelosi believes that “there’s no Al-Qaeda in Iraq” (Drudge). I thought I’d pick her brain and see what other fantasies she has:

  • The tooth fairy is real.
  • Santa will be leaving me a million dollars and a handsome man under my tree.
  • Bill Clinton didn’t have sexual relations with “that woman.”
  • John Kerry is a war hero comparable to Rambo.
  • The muppets are real.
  • Men want to cuddle instead of having a sandwich.


Next thing you know we’ll be hearing that Iran is our friend and that we should embrace diplomacy with them….

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Things that manage to last longer than Mr. and Mrs. Kidd Rock’s marriage:

10. Pam’s implants

9. The length of time it takes to say, “bawitdaba-da-bang-da-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the
Boogie-said-up-jump-the-boogie”

8. The combined time of all four of their weddings

7. Flyers winning streak

6. The freshness of chewing gum once it has been chewed

5. Tommy Lee (sorry, had to say it)

4. My inane lists

3. K-Fed’s career as a rapper

2. The time it took me to come up with this stupid list

1. The cool minty flavor of a tic-tac

Go visit Deathlok…NOW!

Deathlok is up and running again! Go visit and say hello. He has a fun birthdate thingy you can do (see mine below):

I ask you, is this a description of a Chief Mongress or what?

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven’t been developed yet.

You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.

Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.

You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January

What you talkin’ ’bout Willis?

Today I came across a list of popular catchphrases found on television and in commercials.

“Aaaaay…” Fonzie

‘I’m Rick James, bitch!” Chapelle

“Jane, you ignorant slut.” SNL

“Where’s the beef!?!?” Wendy’s commercial

“Waaa, waaa, waaa…” Chachi (sp?) Happy Days

“Boss! The plane! The plane!” Fantasy Island

“I’m gonna cuff ’em and stuff ’em!” Dukes of Hazard

Well…these are some of my favorites. Share your favorites.

Seaching for ????? in all the wrong places!

Ok…after an emotional few days, from which I am trying recover, I have figured that I really have nothing to say. So…I’ve been keeping track of some odd searches (as I know you all do) that lead to my blog. Here are five of them:

1. “you should never shove a banger up your arse at halloween video”

2. “Love” (Huh? Am I capable?)

3. “free lewis fraks after the war” (What the frak?)

4. “scientific term for poo” (Ummm…wouldn’t it be poo?)

So y’all, I’m going to bed early. I had a long day of teenagers deciding that they didn’t need to listen to me while I taught the finer points of how Shakespeare chopped up the English language to suit his rhythmic and poetic purposes. I’m beat.

Nightie, night.