Confucius say RT need life!

On my custom google page, I have a fortune cookie generator. I flipped through and these stood out to me.

1. Your love life will be happy and harmonious. Ummm….when?

2. You are talented with your hands. Eh….that could go so many places. I’m trying to be good these days, but apparently not good enough that I didn’t edit this from the list…oh heck! Nope…not gonna do it.

3. A career is great, but you can’t run your fingers through its hair. Would this go with #1?

4. You should be able to make money and hold onto it. Aren’t you supposed to spend money? That reminds me that I have to do my taxes.

5. Beware of odors from unfamiliar sources. Ever been around 1600 teenagers? Ever been around adolescent boys after gym when they think cologne beats a shower? I’m gonna puke now. I’ve gotten really good at holding my breath.

6. For better luck you have to wait till spring. Umm…hello! It is spring!!!!!!!!!!!! Wonder what kind of better luck I’ll have. You’ll notice it said “better” luck, not “good” luck. Since I have nothing but bad luck…guess better bad luck will be had.

7. Now is a good time to start something new. Now this one I like. I’d like to start a new car. What else can I start?

8. Stay the curse. I’m assuming this was a typo, but it made me laugh. Should I send this to my favorite Philly sports teams, or would that be redundant? (It is also pretty fitting for my life.)

9. You will soon bring joy to someone. I wonder what kind of joy? I’d like to bring joy to someone.

10. Luck will visit you on the next full moon. Ok. My “current moon phase” box on my custom Google page reports, “Waxing Gibbous, 97 percent of Full” for today. So tomorrow or Monday should be a full moon. I’ll let you know if luck visits me.

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday morning, I will NOT have to get up at 4:00 a.m.

Monday morning, I will NOT have to worry about unprepared teenagers who are brimming with apathy.

Monday morning, I will be taking a day-trip somewhere. Where? No clue. I was going to go whale and dolphin watching off of Cape May this weekend, but I’m too tired to meet someone else’s “schedule.” I’d probably miss the boat. (I seem to miss “the boat” a lot.)

I just wanted to rub it in that I’ll have off all week and don’t go back to school until Tuesday, April 10. Wow…I could get into so much trouble (good/fun-trouble).

Why? (Warning: I’m probably gonna curse.)

Why?????

• can’t I get to sleep?
• can’t Rosie keep her mouth shut? (She’s giving us ugly, fat girls a bad name.)
• can’t it be June?
• do people have to be so shitty toward each other?
• do I feel like a lab experiment gone wrong?
• won’t my mom get a job?
• did my grandmom have to die? (I still need her.)
• am I writing all of this? (Oh yeah, I can’t get to sleep–leg cramps–for hours and hours)
• does my best (and only) friend have to move really far away in three months?
• do all my blog buddies seem to be disappearing?

Sorry guys…had to vent….it has been a very stressful, tiring, hard week. I’m burned out, fried.

Funnies! (His heart doesn’t really sound in it, though.)

One more day!

My spring break begins tomorrow at 2:50 p.m. I cannot tell you how much I need this break. During this week I have not had any time during school to actually prep or grade (evacuations/drills/doing paperwork that has nothing to do with teaching).

However, I am in the midst of planning a sweet field trip for a couple of my classes. If it all turns out well, we will be meeting with some very important (and self-important) people. It will be in a few weeks, so I will talk about it when the time comes. It is so awesome that y’all are gonna be jealous…well, most of you. Got any guesses?

Now. During spring break I have a hair appointment, a dentist appointment, and an appointment with the doctor that looks after my thyroid. I have at least four days (weekends included) where I can do whatever I want! I haven’t been able to say that since the summer. We all know how my Christmas break went, so I am really, really looking forward to the next ten days or so.

By the way…I think Maddam Speaker needs to get a grip.

Reason 1,000,001: Why I am warped!

Today, in school, in the midst of a dog search, bag search, evacuation, kids doing stuff they shouldn’t to the paper (that could get me in a shiteload of trouble), and a parent meeting scheduled during my only prep, I had a student go up to a wall map of the world and put his fists at either side of the top of this picture. He then proclaimed, “Thank God for the America.” (He’s not a native speaker.) I was so drained by time I had this kid that all I could do was laugh (after I admonished him). Yep, folks, this is what it is like. I’m glad I have a beer in the frige.

Question: Is it a bad thing that I puposely slowed down in front of a Harley to keep him stuck behind me, so that I could hear the bike? Just wonderin’.

My blog buddies showing their mad skills…hate the game, not the player!

Not that this is a bad thing…

It’s Sunday!

I wanted to go to church, but my restlessness has won out and I know that if I fall asleep now, I won’t wake up for church. I’m really tired of that happening. You see, I’ve been making some changes in my life…of a spiritual nature…back to where I belong, to whom I belong. However, I’m gripped by restlessness and can’t properly sleep. So every Saturday night it is the same thing…can’t sleep and then I can’t go to church. Bugs me. So…I guess I’ll be watching church on television, again. Hrrrrumphhhh.

GRADING + END OF THE MARKING PERIOD + ONE DAY TO GET IT ALL DONE = HEADLINES!!!!!!!

“Dem leadership pulls DC voting bill from floor; conservative Dems were supporting DC gun repeal…
Leader Hoyer seen yelling at staff on floor…
Speaker Pelosi absent because she is desperately searching for Iraq supplemental votes…
Holmes-Norton standing silently in disbelief.”
Tick…tick….tick…BOOM! They’ve hit the self-destruct button. Ironically, while not included in the first 100 hours, the Devilcrats have actually accomplished something: making me laugh!

“World’s first ‘spinal transplant’ carried out…”
Realizing his/her spine was not in use [insert name of favorite politician here] he/she donated it to someone who would show some backbone.

“HISTORIAN PLANS BOOK FROM CHATS, TAPES WITH BILL CLINTON…”
Unfortunately, heavy breathing doesn’t sell many books. Pron? Yes. Books? No.

“HARVARD CLUB PROMOTES ABSTINENCE…”
Well this is a no-brainer! Trust me, those kids really don’t need to be having sex. They think using pocket protectors is safe sex.

“Houdini kin wants body exhumed, tested”
Reports are that the casket had a trap door and the remains have yet to be found.

“Heavy metal soothes bright teens”
Finally, someone has confirmed what I thought for years! Heavy metal clears my brain. Gotta problem with it? Just needed some iron…Iron Maiden!

“Officials buy horns to counter coyotes”
I’m sure there is a joke in here about being horny or too horny (Can you be too horny? I mean I’m…nevermind.)

“Iran’s president cancels U.N. appearance”
He’s skeeerd! He heard the Statue of Liberty was planning a special “encounter” involving her torch.

“New Orleans residents arming themselves”
Ummm…this is news? It is New Orleans! (Oh wait. Beads aren’t a weapon?)

“Coming soon to U.S. pumps: terror-free gasoline”
Researchers have finally found a way to incorporate bacon™ and SPAM into gasoline. The Monger Horde™ is said to be very pleased with this development.

“Is that chimp angry? Facial cues crucial”
I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad to know that chimps provide facial cues about their anger, because every time I run into one when I’m out and about, I’m wondering if chimps are giving me dirty looks or if they just look that way.

“China backs away fom green plan”
Because, you know, green and red are just too “Christmas” for them.

“6th Graders Vote that Global Warming is not caused by humans…”
Third grade class president, Albert Gore, sent to the corner to wear a dunce cap.

“Lakers’ Bryant joins Chamberlain in 50-50-50-50 club”
Next on Bryant’s “to do” list is to break Chamberlain’s groupie record.

“Brooklyn Museum unveils first feminist art center in U.S.”
Bic and Gillette will not be asked to sponsor any exhibits.

“‘Pimp Of The Year’ Gets 23 Years In Federal Prison”
Now he’s the bitch! Reports state that because he is no longer able to perform his duties as Pimp of the Year, his first runner up, Wyatt, will take the title.