I’m really suffering from major writer’s block. I’m at the mid-point of my marking period and that, combined with major prostrastination, has resulted in an inability to compose anything of a coherent nature. So here are my unoriginal headlines. Enjoy!
“Girl can stack, unstack 12 cups in 5.3 seconds”
I can do that, too. You take one out from the bottom, duh.
“Efforts to plug Indonesian “mud volcano” resume”
If it is successful, plans to plug Mt. Al Gore will commence.
“Group says U.S. restaurants promote ‘extreme eating’”
Finally, a sport in which all of us kick ass!
“Study: Garlic won’t lower cholesterol”
However, it will lower your chances of getting a little somethin’ somethin’.
“Cuba’s cigar festival underway”
Bill Clinton is the keynote speaker with his speech, “101 Uses for a Cigar.”
“Beaver returns to New York City after 200 years”
Rosie O’Donnell reportedly very excited and planning an extensive hunt.
“Newsweek: Dark-horse Kucinich plots his course”
Luckily for us it is a circular course, since it is endless and pointless.
“Man aged 107 forsakes sex for longevity”
Dies without a smile on his face.
“Diplomats to draft new U.N. sanctions on Iran”
Experts assert the draft will reach #1 on the NY Times best seller list for fiction.
“Power: Gore mansion uses 20x average household; consumption increase after ‘truth’”
Well, he had to have all those parties and he is afraid of the dark. Poor little baby.